Death.

People are afraid of death. Most of us are afraid to lose our life. Indeed, nobody will ever wanted to die when we have the chance to live on. Meanwhile, sometimes, life leave us no choice and approaching to the end without knowing the date. 

Death isn't dreadful actually. The reason people think it is, because we have no idea when the day will come. We don't know how long we have and frightened by all the chaos happen in our life. -People are coward. 

ChingMing is here. Probably Chinese are going to pray their ancestors and clean their ancestors' grave. When this festival comes, it reminds me about death. This will automatically link my mind to some memories which I was attempting to get over it. 

Every death reminds me, my cousin who passed away last year. All the memories which related to his funeral are still fresh in my mind, especially the moment I cried breathlessly. It was horrible to me, but I take it as part of memories of my cousin - the last time I saw his face. I will never be able to forget that, it was pale and frankly, terrifying. It was the first time I had such a short distance with a person who had stopped his heartbeat. Honestly, I was afraid, I wasn't able to help myself, the fear took over me but I tried to take it easy, since he is my cousin and not a vampire. 

Few days ago, when my friend told me his grandfather just passed away, I was astonished and speechless. I don't know the appropriate way to comfort him or what to do, since I was shocked as well. Then, all the memories kept flashing in my mind. After ended our conversation and off to turn in, I wasn't able to control myself. I slightly cried, my heart was so painful and suffocating. That was a terrible night, perhaps, similar to him. 

Besides, it reminds me again, the moment I received my cousin's death. My mind was completely blanked, as if my brain was stopped functioning. I can't think of anything, even my feelings were confused. I kept questioning myself, HOW SHOULD I RESPOND? Perhaps, it was the first time I coped with this kind of situation and eventually lost. Just like how he responded, I think. But at least, I never think to bang my head onto the wall. Anyway, hope everything is fine now. :)

So, let's love life and live with no regrets. 

Jam. lovess