i'm just me, not a tool.

I am so tired  right now, completely exhausted, mentally and physically. Seriously, schooling is tiring sometimes, especially you're forced to carry all the high expectation from the school and teachers. It's so stressful when you are ought take the burden up on shoulders. wtf, to be honest, it's not my business about the school ranking or whatsoever?! I do not think by doing so will make anything good, nor to the students, but maybe for the school?

However, school is a place where students are able to show their talents and potential for something. A place where they can develop their strength, spread their wings, but not restrict their movement. Admittedly, discipline is important, somehow I don't  think overdoing it will do any good. We human, are not birds in the cage, we have the right to choose, but not being obligated to something which is unworthy. We had chose it as you told, but somehow you rejected  our choices. So, what can we do?! Additionally, you had also misunderstood the real intention of the students for being at school. 

I'm not your tools to get onto the top, I am your student. Pushing isn't a good method to reach for the top, even though you may have succeed, but it will cause some effects to the students. May turns out a good effect, what if it's in the other way round, and that's terrible for anyone. School is like a candle light which lead students to a bright future, but in contrast, I think the school may have misunderstood their duty. I wonder why people are so attach to the triumph, the pride, the dignity, the power, when they actually neglected another side of the matter, the aftermath towards other stuff, the severe ones. This is what I'd mentioned before, it changes its path when it has fulfill its desires and own something over-powerful. It just out of control.

I am just tired of being one of the tools of the school, I am a student, a normal student. I am not a genius, but a HUMAN. I am born to live, but not become a tool for you. I live for myself, so stop forcing us to become your tools of reaching for the top. We have the right to choose, as you'd said. I chose not to become your tool, but become myself in school. I study not for the sake of the school ranking, but genuinely myself. Or maybe I misunderstood the school intention of their afford, but somehow the way they put it makes me feel so wrong. I am not condemning any sides or whoever said it, merely want to express my unsatisfactory for these days. It's really tiring, to be your student.

It is normal, when everyone put a high expectation on you, I even tried to ignore it. But when the same thing keeps repeating, it gets annoying. I want to crush everything, especially the so-called expectation. 

Anyway, I think I will get used to it soon, perhaps, since it's gonna be meaningless to me. Their expectation will soon mean nothing to me, because it's nothing to do with me. 

I'm just me, not a tool.
the frustration is there.

phew, feel good after spilling out everything. Yeap, this is life. teehee

Jam. lovess