Darkness.

I locked myself in the dark room again, yesterday.
Honestly, the tears came in a sudden. It came so sudden, I can't control it. sorry.
Everybody was asking me for the reason, but I can't answer them and I don't know how to answer, therefore I just kept shaking my head and speechless.
I knew, if I answered them, for sure, they will laugh at me, laugh at my feelings.
The answer is, I don't know the reason. I had said, the tears came in sudden. How I know what the reason is!?
Anyway, yesterday, the whole day, my mood was so calm and abnormal. I think that's why I cried. == I had tolerated too many things.
After that, I locked myself up in the dark room.

No lights inside, felt so hopeless. Cried until breathless, feeling like want to E Nd Up everything. 

Nobody beside me, felt so lifeless. The longer the time I cried, the more useless I felt.

The more breathless it was, the more heartless I felt.
No lights, nobody besides, but loneliness here they come.
I was swallowed by the darkness, but I like it, I deserve it.

ahJamJam.

I kept thinking everything I've done when I was breathlessly crying... Negatives, The worst one, ME, I am a failure.
The scars are still there, forever. Nothing can make it disappear, even though there is a cure.

Darkness always swallow me, Because I am a lonely person.