Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Where shall i go?


where shall I go... I can barely see the road ahead..

Confusion and uncertainty mixed up my mind and determination. I'm scared of moving on, but I have to. It's either stay still, or move on. Afraid of moving on, encounter what's ahead of me. I lost my courage, and I'm tired of making a wise decision. I want to be insane, crazy, mad, because being wise and mature is way too tiring. I want to be free, young and reliable. However, I'm lack of courage. 

I want to pursue what I really passionate about, but I'm scared of going after it. It's covered with uncertainty and risks. I'll never go after the uncertainty, I can't afford to lose. I don't want to lose. Life is really horrible, inside of me, the wild and young who is longing to be freed and crazy, yet another side of me, is persuading me to go after a better and safer ones. 

Why am I having doubts at this freaking moment!? Where my determination has gone? ...

When time elapses, I started to have doubts and hesitations which keep me from doing what I'd decided. WHY AM I SO INDECISIVE? WHY NOW? Or I'm not doubting my decision, but myself.? I'm getting further from myself, I look like a complete stranger to myself, out of reach, misfit. I don't know what I shall do, because what I really want, doesn't give me any security. I'm lack of essentials. 

I want to free myself from all these constraints, can I?

It seems so distant from me. 

can I?

...

Life is struggling

Sunday, June 29, 2014

29th June 2014, SUN.

HEHEHE I'm back again! It had been almost two weeks since my last update. Well, I was pretty busy recently, excluding working part time, I was busy practising my competition piece and uploaded to the event page. (check it out here) Now, everything is done nicely and thankfully it's going quite well. Hopefully, I can win some prizes. lol Actually, I was also lazy to update my blog, because I had no idea what to write about, as my life is quite normal and nothing really special happened. 

I was dying to go for college, although I heard a lot of stressful messages from my friends, regarding those endless assignments, but compared to my life now, I'd rather go to college, because in college I am able to meet more people and more interaction, instead of what I'm doing right now. Quite idle and almost repeating the same routine everyday, unlike college, you're able to learn new thing. Of course, working is also be able to learn more to life lessons, meeting weird people and it's more practical. haha Ahhhhh so life is full of confusion and uncertainty. 

Oh yeah, I dyed my hair, finally. I was longing to dye my hair, but I had no guts and money to do that. I didn't go to saloon, because that will cost me a fortune, so I bought the foam hair dye from guardian. It's quite easy and user friendly, my sis did my hair dyed actually and I did hers. Surprisingly, mine turned out really well, although it isn't the colour I wanted, I wish it could be more ash, but never mind, it is still new hair colour to me. I never thought my hair can carry that colour so well, because my hair is naturally black, silky shiny black :P To be honest, I want it more ashy and green. hahahahaha There is always next time. 

As you can see, it's more golden brown, than ash. *sigh*

To be frank, I think what I'm doing right now, is so unproductive as if rotting somewhere else. I am seriously, lost my connection with the outside world. I need to go to school, HAHAHAHA Is this a disease or something? I miss school so much right now. I miss every morning waking up and slacking in the bed, didn't want to go to school. And every morning walking into school, seeing those familiar faces, greeting people. Now, those are my precious memory, my history. Can I go back in time? Those familiar faces especially, ehem yeah, can no longer see in person every monday-friday morning. lol I smile every time I think of my classmates and all hilarious stories happened in school, and of course my awesome potatoes. I MISS MY SCHOOLING DAY SO MUCH. Of course, and also my teachers, some lah. So is this called school-sick or what? lol

Celebrated mama leong's birthday last Thursday. Homemade choc berries cake! 
Thank you for your unconditional love, care and sacrifice. ily mama xoxo

Well, I think that's enough to end my last June post! How time flies, June is approaching to its end. Goodluck everyone, all the best! 


Thursday, June 12, 2014

immune system is fighting hard

Ello everybody. The weather is getting worse and hotter recently, and unfortunately I fell sick because of it. darn. It's really important to maintain good health, or else you might suffer alot, like what I'm undergoing right now. I couldn't even have good sleep at night, the flu was making me hard to breathe, cough got me sleepless night, a slight sore throat made me difficult to talk. lol So, guys drink more water, minimize outdoor activities and stay healthy! Otherwise, you might be getting yourself into trouble. 


I'm literally sweating right now in my living room without air-conditioner and coughing. lol The weather is killing me so much! It's making me sweating and sickening, annoying! I wish I could use some spell which be able to change the weather more comfortable! haha Moreover, this kind of weather normally causes my rashes to appear again! I seriously, hate it so much, so much! It's not only itchy, but also painful and makes my skin become reddish! So, just take good care of yourself, don't fall sick!

Honestly, my life is getting boring, because other than going out and working, my connection with outside world is actually limited. I really want to go to school, I miss schooling so much, despite those endless assignments, but get to know friends, and spend time with them is awesome and much meaningful than, spending time at home blindly surfing social media. Additionally, I'm sick now, which worsen the whole situation. darn. I probably have two more months to my intake! I can't wait!!!! In the meantime, I'm also nervous and worried, haha, because I'm approaching to another level of education which everything is different and much more harder than before. 

I saw a lot people hashtag #tfios yet I had no idea what was it until I googled it. haha Nowadays, google has become good friend to everybody. tfios, The Fault In Our Stars. I saw my friend bought the novel, and heard about the movie is gonna release soon, coming 15 of July! I think a lot people are looking forward to it because a lot of hashtags and tweets are going on, and I watched the trailer just now. I think it's quite a romantic and realistic story. I wonder how the love story goes after that. hmmmph, I was thinking to get the novel before the movie, but then I thought of my two new bought novels are covered with dust in my book rack. HAHAHA Maybe after the movie, I'll get the novel.? 

And I just found a lot of tissue dumplings around me. teeheeee


Haha, that's all for today's crap talking. 

Bye and take care yo!


Sunday, June 08, 2014

A small Day Dreaming.

Just feeling like wanna type something, but again just another blindly writing. HAHA I just had my very first manual driving lesson today! It was quite thrilling yet fun, hopefully can do better next time! woots! \m/ To be honest, I've been telling my friends about my bagpack travel after my degree graduation *probably&hopefully*, and I'm looking for a partner, although I haven't even enrol my college yet! teehee But my plan is still in progress and I'm working hard to save money! Ironically, sometimes I lost myself to those sales temptation! I'm a girl after all, it's hard to reject those tempting sales and online shopping! However, I'm really trying my best to stop browsing online shop and have my control over those freaking sales. lol

I know, maybe I'm too young and it's too early to plan this kind of thing. Some of you would probably think that bagpack is a waste of money, but bagpack travelling is a dream to me since I was young. I always wanted to go for travel with my fav bagpack, and exploring the world, gaining a vast of knowledge about this world. I want to go out and look for inspiration, of course I need modal as well to make that come true! For me, luxurious travel doesn't suit my liking. Despite my financial problem, to me, luxurious travel can't really experience the local lifestyle and I'd rather have some budget hotel or hostel. I just wanna go travel with my bagpack, better not with luggages. HAHA Bagpack would be enough for me. I always keep thing simple and nice! hehehe Moreover, bagpack is more portable compared to luggages, it would make the journey easier and efficient! :P Well, it's still long way to go, need some researches to be done, and planning also important! Wah, seems like it would take quite a long time and effort to make my dream come true! But if it's worth it, I am willing to do! HA!! 

No matter what, I will strive for my bagpack travel dream! In the meantime, I will take good care of my studies too, although I haven't even enrol yet, but I promise! I will do my best in my studies similar to my goals! hahaha, I'm talking nonsense again. Hope it doesn't bore you. Yeah, I think that's all. Tomorrow is Monday again.... Perhaps, it means nothing to primary and secondary students, but to college student and employees, Monday Blue is inevitable. lol




feel free to check out my previous posts: Another Day Another Meal ; 1DayFamilyTripMother's Day ღ 2014

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Mother's Day ღ 2014

Heyyo, I know it's been really long time ago since Mother's Day had gone, and Father's Day is coming ahead. Okay, let's skipped those nonsense and straight to the topic!
We celebrated at one of the dining venue in Majestic Hotel, which was Contango.

18th May2014, Mother's Day Celebration, Contango@Majestic Hotel.




Desserts!! woots!


Let's start thee food hunting! \m/

They serve a wide variety of cuisine, for instance Western, Chinese, Japanese, Malay and Thai!

CHEESEEEEEEEEEE

Sashimi!!


Wine and liquors! *Additional charges*

Fruit juice. Besides, they also serve handcraft coffee! ;)

Thai!

Grill!


This beef was awesome! Tender and juicy. :D

My mom literally gone insane, when she saw desserts! lol


Choc lolipop! 
(left: milk choc, white choc, dark choc)

Ice cream!! But too bad, they didn't have green tea, my all time fav! D:

I think the most awesome thing in the restaurant could be those desserts!!!!




Hahahahahahaha


The food they served was fresh and high quality! Especially the seafood and desserts! Totally worth the price we paid! Haha, moreover they also serve various cuisines, you're be able to try out different cuisine in one restaurant! How reasonable and convenient is that! ;) It was really a satisfied lunch! *thumbsup*

After that, we walked around to check out other dining venues! :9 Just checking out, our tummies were super full after a satisfying lunch! hehe


Looking cute with Mama xoxo

The Orchid Conservatory!

Cotton candy from Contango

MAMA!!

Miss Bellannie!




Silly sister with cousie, Jez.

Erhem, bojio eh....

Awww!! Papa and Mama 

HEHEHEHE

I know I'm silly! :P


Teaching my niece! They are super adorable! HAHA

Not all roses are red

That's all for the celebration! So, you guys must be wondering what kind of present, me and my sisters gave to my mom. Er, nothing expensive, not edible but precious and valuable. It's been really long time since sisters had made a card for my mom, so I came out with the idea to go back to what we used to do in olden days. haha Needless to say, this card is much better and high quality than previous ones. It contains much love from daughters. 

Attached a photo we taken in Kundasang! YAY!

I love you MAMA 
xoxo