Halo people! I am back with another post without food. Sorry, for letting you guys down, because I wasn't really into or have the chance to go for food hunt. haha I was working part-time and my degree is gonna start on coming Monday, wish me luck. Hopefully most food and travel posts in future!
Recently, I was completely in confusion, trapped and struggled. In short, I was lost. I wasn't sure if what I am doing now is good for myself, because something popped out in my mind which turned me into confusion, again. I found my real passion, well, to be honest, should be confront. I always try to convince myself not to think about it, especially during this crucial moment, however I just can't. It kept popping into my mind, like a reminder. But for real, I just can't pursue it, I have no ability to support my passion, which has worsen the whole situation. And that's why, I struggled so much, well I do struggle a little bit now but not too much. haha There is more... Seeing friends are able to pursue for their dreams, indeed, I feel really happy for them, but there's just, ya'know, separating is hard. I was as if having a short-term depression until I eventually released myself.
While I was playing my piano in this afternoon, I felt something magical happened. I felt my soul was released, freed to roam. I was trying to play LuXiaoYu by Jay Chou, but I could barely remember the melody, so I closed my eyes, like I used to be, letting my fingers to run freely on the keyboard. Then, all the notes came into one piece, the melody started to run, the song was finally completed. At the same time, I was released. I know it sounds really weird, but it does happen. That's how the magic works. It's just magical, isn't?
In the dark I see no one, but I feel myself. Then, I found my freedom. During the time of playing piano with my eyes closed was indeed awesome, I felt so light and just living at that moment, enjoying my playing, just simply happy. It had been a long time since I felt so contented, lively and simply happy. Because that's how life should be.
Again, music saves me. Even though it doesn't last long, but still everything starts to fall into place, slowly. I do feel better now, at least I know I have something rest on when I need it. When in the darkness, I somehow feel more secure and confident, because it's only me. Well, maybe by putting myself in the dark, can make my mind focus more? Then, be able to put everything into one piece and figure it out. lol Or, maybe I just need to spend more time with music to give me more mental support. hahahaha I sound so pathetic. Well, maybe it's true?
I shall give myself a break, well, I ain't got time for a break now, degree starts in real soon. And I guess I have enough of break just yet I clear my mind. lol Too bad. Well, life doesn't always go the way as you wish, just like my passion. However, I believe maybe, perhaps, one day I will be able to pursue my passion and experience different things all around the world.
That's all, I hope it doesn't bore you, even though it does, I know. hahahaha
Take care, love ya'll,
xoxo,
