Grievous.

Bad news. My cousin who suffered from serious illness had gone, R.I.P yesterday evening. Yesterday, when the news came to my hear, I was having my dinner at my aunt house. 

I was astonished, I don't know what to react and stunned. After I found my conscious back, I continued finish my dinner. On that moment, I hope to cry, but my aunt family were having their dinner too, hence I controlled myself not to cry in front of them. Then I left the seat.

I stared at the television. Both eyes were moisturized by my tears. I was thinking.................

Is this a tragedy? Or what?! I don't know...... I don't want to encounter this kind of stuff. It's hard for me to confront a death.

He is gone, he is gone forever. I will never meet him in my future life. WHAT is this?! This is not a joke. I am trying to cope with the fact, however it's difficult. I don't know who to tell all these stuffs and my feelings. :'(

I cried silently on the way home. My dad is still with my aunt who just lost her lovely son. I am concerned about her. 

Her fate is so heartless to her. She lost her husband when her children were still young. And now, she lost her eldest son. Losing husband and son is such a grievous hurt to her, and she must be deeply stricken and feels agony.

I am poor in solving this kind of situation, and what I suppose to do is be quiet and silent and show my condolences to her.

Besides, so do my cousin's wife. They just got married in this January. I think she must be suffering too. Everybody is suffering, all the relatives, my cousin's siblings as well. 

Tomorrow I am going back to my home town. *suffocating.

I am numbed. B Y E.