Just another one.

Ohayo! I'm back! Initially, I was thinking to use chinese to blog, but then I think that might be a little bit weird, so I changed it back to English, as I think that Chinese is much suitable for some emo posts. hahaha So, the holiday has arrives, and I am supposed to utilize my holiday with tons of homework and revision as the trial is just around the corner, moreover the trial is freaking important! Unfortunately, I think I may have to sacrifice part of my holiday with family activities. LOL However, I am trying my best to prioritize my revision. Actually, this holiday is quite short as I have tons of things to do, haha, for instant, revision has occupied a huge part of my to-do-list! And I have to catch up a lot of my syllabus by self-study! ... I don't get a thing about those three science subjects! teehee That's why I am regretting of choosing science stream, but it's useless cry over spilled milk right, so I have to be responsible for my decision. I eventually realized, I don't really love science nor addmaths actually! hahahaha

Anyway, I will strive for the best lah. SPM is never a bed of roses, I can't slack anymore...... Hopefully, I can really work hard, minimize using comp or phone and maximize my revision. teehee I must have faith for myself right..... 

I always have the question in my mind, ALWAYS. Will I regret, if I do my SPM terribly? Probably YES. Then, I started to doubt myself every time this question popped in my mind. Why do I have to do that in my SPM? I just have to do my best and strive for the best! What if I accidentally....? .... NO MORE doubts, Jamie. Faith. Believe in myself. Do the best you can, work hard. Fighting! The question is, am I doing it right? Apparently, NO. I am wasting every second of my life right now, doing nothing productive and losing my interest in studying those horrible stuff. The feeling of lost in the middle of nowhere is horrible terrible.... and hideous. Maybe by pretending strong isn't helping to build the realistic one. Pretend can be fatal, sometimes. 

Is persistence helping? Do I have that kind of persistence to go on? I am lacking of something in myself. But I am not sure what it is. I've been finding it for a long time, somehow it's like unapproachable. Maybe I've been unconscious for a long period, I've lost my senses. I always pretend, act as if I can handle, but in fact, it's not the way it is. 

Perhaps, I am just another liar. 

Jam. lovess